Being Sick

 Being sick is a weird thing. There is so much shame that surrounds it and it’s something all people experience to some extent or another. It is a very normal and real part of the human experience. And yet sometimes it can been seen as a choice when in actuality no human has that kind of control over their body. 

I can remember being in high school and missing days because I had a cold or a flu. And I remember that there was shame, hidden behind the idea that it is important for you to be in school. I shamed myself because I was made to believe that my education was more important than my physical health. 


Now getting sick in this state of the world is terrifying. A simple cough makes you think you’re dying and makes others believe you a hazard. It’s isolating and you can’t really blame them for being scared. 


It is hard to love yourself when you’re sick. Your body can’t do what you need or want it to. You are forced to rest and stay away from work and sometimes family. Forced rest can be hard to deal with and makes me feel weak. 


I haven’t felt this weak in a long while. Not just the weak of body but weak in my person, in my mind and heart. When you take the strength of body away you are left with the strength of your character or lack of it. It is hard to be sick and it is hard to feel weak. 


Being sick feels selfish when it is anything but. There is an actually war being waged inside of my body and yet I feel so terribly sorry for saying no to people. The weight of guilt and shame from being sick causes recovery to take longer because it creates anxiety and anxiety wreaks my body. 


This perpetuated lie that being sick is selfish is one of the worst out there. It is a snowball rolling down Everest and will only stop when it hits the bottom. Being sick is only your body needing rest and time to heal. It is not selfish and there should be no shame about needing a break especially for your body. 

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