Time and Light Switches

Walking down the road I happened upon a girl. A young girl sitting in a mud puddle. She was dressed in red, her very best dress. And there she was sitting in the mud. Her head in her hands and shoulders shaking. She was crying.   I know her I thought, I know her very well and its been quite some time since I’ve stopped to say hello. Kneeling in the mud I draw her into my arms, just to hold her.  I say to her, “I won’t leave you this time, I’m not gong to ignore you this time,” “I’m here for you this time.” Gesturing behind me I wave my estranged friend forward, we had been on a walk, he didn’t know where I was leading him. He comes to sit on my shoulder. He’s a cross between a golden puppy and a crow. Snuggling into my neck he come to rest in our little embrace.  He’s never followed me down here to where the young girl lives. But this time is different. He truly sees her this time, it’s raw. He desires to comfort her, where he usually only designs to tell her the lo...

I have a wicked fear of abandonment, and not out of a deep insecurity but because that is what people taught me. That they will leave when it suits them no matter the coast to me. But I love the phase ‘run with reckless abandon.’ That's it. That's how I want to live. I want to run at life with reckless abandon. I want to arrive to my death in love with life and have lived it as best I could. I want to have lived so bravely and freely that when my kids ask me what was it like to be their age I can tell them. So maybe I’ll struggle to tell them about the younger years, but these years; the ones where I found true lasting freedom. These years will be a grand tail of my many adventures and wilds.  I want to live wild and free. I was never meant to live in a box. Which seems a rather obvious conclusion but its taken me a long time to understand that. I can’t wait to breath in all the different kinds of air. I can’t wait to be amongst the great wild yonder and taste the very esse...

  What if we held the gravity of the words we spoke in our hands? What if we forever bore the burden of words spoken? If we held the gravity in our very hands I believe we would speak very different indeed. For instance the word passion has two definitions, 1. an intense hard to ignore emotion, 2. the suffering of Jesus Christ. We most commonly use it to mean the fluffy intense emotions definition, which by the way doesn’t have to be a positive emotion. Though we only really use the word passion to mean exuberant interest in something or someone. When were I to say I am passionately violent or angry that would be a correct use of the word. But the word passion in origin means suffer, coming from the latin word pati meaning suffer. Now the sentence ‘I am in passionately love with you’ takes on a whole new meaning. To have passion is to suffer. It has forever changed the way I hear this word and yet it has also opened my eyes widely to my own story of suffering because I am a passio...

Some days you choose rest   and some days rest chooses you  It’s best not to fight it  once its come it will not leave  not till it has had its fill of you If rest chooses you  there is a reason  it isn’t with out purpose  give in to the call of rest Rest is different to everyone  some it's lying in bed some it's reading  some it's going for a walk rest is what you make it  The true value of rest  has yet to be revealed  it holds more weight  than we give it credit for it shifts worlds and give breath to the weary  Come all you who are weary there is rest for you your heart hears the call give heed to the need  rest is not a luxury  You can’t go on not like this  it's not suppose to be  this heavy  You can rest  no need to fight  just give in to peace Rest is calling  it is time to answer. 

I am of a simple nature. In a world full of complicated rules, constraints and conditions. So full of an overlapping entangled knotted mess of convoluted chaos. Full of so many constant contradictions, even amongst the very language I speak. And yet I am of such a simple nature that I be the one to stands out as so unbelievably complicated.   I only wish to have time, to stand in the sunlight and dance abound in the moonlight. I desire simple things like mint tea and a warm embrace. I am not so hard to know, just to understand.  Because this mess we call society and human nature is so irrevocably more complicated than it need be. It’s a disaster of a state. And yet it is what we call normal, what we force to be normal. If ever there was such a thing.  I am of simple nature. I do not ask for much. Only time and space and freedom to be as I’d like and to exists as I so greatly desire to.  Please leave me to my small delights and simple desires. Leave my small h...