Time and Light Switches

and the sea has moved before and the mountains have crumbled and the forest has come calling the end is here the end is there the end has already begun and been completed  and the sky was cleaved  and the winds did roar  and the stars came crashing down  the end has come the end has gone the end is finished and the birds did sing and the bears all awoke and the trees did dance  the beginning is here the beginning is there the beginning is breathing and the colours will all come back and the sound will all be alive and the smell will be just as sweet the beginning the beginning the beginning

My grandmother once told me of someone she knew. She told me of the tragedy and the hardship and downright evil she had faced. She told me of the most courageous act ever taken. That even after all of that, after having been given every right to become hardened, to become biter, to become enraged, that this incredible woman stayed gentle. She stayed kind and soft-hearted, that she was the kindest woman my grandmother could remember. My grandmother who doesn’t talk a lot about the past, my grandmother who despite her gentle nature has a wicked sense of humour.   My grandmother she told me this precious story. This story of a relative of mine who’s name I’ve sadly forgotten, it has stayed with me all this time. I do not know how long I’ve know this story only that I’ve carried it as close to my heart as I could, even when it felt impossible. My grandmother, who gave me my father, she is a complex person. I never can quite tell what she’s thinking.  My grandmother, she doesn’...

  To new beginnings. It feels so tender, so soft and almost fragile. It’s no joke, it really is to be marvelled upon. You would think there was grass growing under foot, but really the snow is falling softly. Often winter begets the time of endings and rest. This year winter is the lamb that taught me to rest in the beginning of things. The beginning and the ending it happened all at once and I, I was okay with that. But in a much more honest sense I wasn’t okay with it at all. I didn’t ask to be put in this situation, I didn’t ask for all this change. But really I did, and I needed it I just didn’t want it. Because it would have been easier to be stagnant and I would have found a way to live with it. I just wouldn’t have been living. So I needed it, I just didn’t want it.  And the ending of things has taken longer than I wanted and the beginning has taken longer still. Only, the beginning isn’t so bad, it isn’t so sad. So I’m okay with it, the beginning it’s taking its ti...

I awoke this morning with no desire to write. No desire to paint, no desire to do anything, not so much as exists. I would perhaps listen to music and maybe, just maybe, have a little dance in the kitchen. But that’s the thing about being an artist, being someone with too much creativity, you don’t get to take a break. I don’t get a break from whirling ideas and colours and landscapes and beautiful combinations of words. I only get a choice.   Will I be a good steward, or will I let it all turn to rot.   I am the steward of my creativity and of my life. And I have a choice everyday, to be faithful or to give up. It is not easy work and it often is not fun, but hear me on this, if you choose to be a good steward the reward is great.  So today I thought to myself, what if I just stopped posting for my blog, what if I just quit. Because today I’m tired and cranky and upset, (upset meaning, sad angry frustrated hurt) and once again the world seems to be burning down aro...