Time and Light Switches

Yesterday love looked like showing my seven year old cousin around my room. Love looked like indulging her in her childhood exploits. Yesterday love spoke with her young voice and looked at me with her eyes full of wonder. Love isn't this seemingly inexplicable force that no one living has ever seen. It's something bigger than that and something smaller. It is so simple it makes no sense. I make no claim to know just what exactly love is, but I know what it's not. Love can be so fickle and yet it's the driving force that formed this world and the next. Self love has eluded me most of this life. It's a wretched journey I'm on, that doesn't seem to end. There are parts of the road that are smother than others. There's days where the victory was getting out of bed and others where it is great accomplishment after the next. Learning to love oneself is possibly one of the greatest trials of this life. It is easy to love anything and anyone outside of yo...

When hurt comes knocking I often open the door. Simply because if I don’t he’ll sit out there all night and will still be there in the morning. It’s best to let him in and get his visit over with.  Hurt has no concept of personal space. He likes to sleep in your bed rather than the couch that you made up for him. He will be glued to you the whole time and will poke you until the moment you shut the door behind him.  Sometimes he’ll bring his friends disappointment and let-down. The thing is though, is that they take a mile from an inch. You open the door and they interpret that as an invitation to move in. Hurt knows when he’s overstayed his welcome and will be gone like a thief in the night.  Disappointment makes a terrible roommate. She leaves messes in her wake and has no intention of cleaning them up. They will stay there until you finally kick her out, then you are stuck to take care of all the things she broke.  Let-down loves a practical joke ...

Love is such a strange thing. In the english language there is only one word for it and yet it is said to communicate so much. I  love  daisies, I  love reading,  I  love my family. Heck I even love the idea of love. I don't love daisies however the way I love my family. Not even close. The greeks had eight different words that describe love and give multiply types of love. In Hebrew there are seven different words for love. English only has one. We say stuff like "I love you like a brother," or "I love you as a friend," in order to clarify just how we love someone. in part it comes down to tone and inflection. Then there are times where 'love' just doesn't seem to cut it. It's said so much and so often that we have become desensitized to the gravity of love. It should mean more. Love is something that all human beings search for. We build our whole lives around it and in some cases form our entire identity around love. "For God so lo...

It's come the time where my mind is a messy place and in need of quite a bit of cleaning. It's bulk trash soon so I must let go of my short thoughts that are but paragraphs and can't become more than such. ~~~~~ The wind isn't something you can see on its own. If there is snow or rain or dust or leaves in the wind you can see the wind move them. You can only see the wind's effects but you can still feel it, so as not to deny its existence. This can be seen paralleled in emotions. You can't see them only their effect. You can feel them and in that you know that they are real. ~~~~~ Loneliness is the recurring cause of my death. No other aliment as often occurring. I simply despise loneliness. In this time it is so easy to be lonely. I love to watch a storm and I love to live. But when there is no one to share it with what's the point. It's like the quote 'if a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?' Wh...

For valentines day (which yes I know was months ago) my family gave each other encouragement and this one was for my dad. I'm slow writing this week so I thought something was better than nothing, hope you enjoy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear Dad,  My dad, my protector, my love and my dear. You have alway been there to hold my hand and to push me into pools. You know just what to say even if I don’t want to hear it. You have always encouraged me to chase my dreams, to fly far and wide but above all else to love others the best I could. You sat and cried with me when all i wanted to do was love my friends and you told me It will all be okay when it felt far from it.  You are the strongest, bravest, most curagest lover of God and all those around you I’ve ever known. You adopted all my friends into your heart and hugged them when they had not known what a good dad is. But you never forgot to tuck me in and ...