This is My Chaos

I feel so flammable. 

So quick to cry.

So easy to break. 

His presences wrecks me, 

sets me a light, 

turns me away from myself, 

and creates a safe place. 


It’s been a mess of a week 

and I’m not sure what story to tell 

or how to tell it. 


My heart finally got the recognition it deserves,

but I can’t help but feel it took up too much time,

it was beautiful and so full of mess.  


It’s been a mess of a week. Where the one prior and the one before that I had been content to sit in the storm. This disaster of a week has taken it all out of me. But I’m so much more ready to fight. The part of me that want to quit has only fuelled my fire to fight. 


To fight for my life,

fight for myself,

fight for my heart

and it’s desires. 


I won’t give up on myself this time. Just because it’s getting hard I can’t give up this time. I’ll look pain in the face and say “your time is coming, it’s not long before you’ll be gone.” I’m gonna find the place fear made a home in me and I’m gonna rip it out. Fear doesn’t get to take up that much space anymore. 


Just the glance of His face,

that’s all it takes,

I’m weak, 

and so happy to be.

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