More than I bargained for

A beaver, rain, and the smell of manure. At first glance and first thought these three things have nothing to do with the other. I went for a walk last night, and sure enough all these three things played a crucial part. It was all much more than I had bargained for. 

I have a rout I take when I go for a walk, it’s right out of the drive way and up the hill, then right again and past the trees. I only made it to the top of the hill last night. My mom was with me and it felt quite the treat, to be choosing health even when we didn’t really feel like it. But we made it as far as the hill and that was good enough. We had meant to go on. 

But in choosing to ally with our human instincts we stoped to look at the pond. There were two ducks there, one green and one brown, a family I suppose. And then most exciting thing happened, we saw a beaver. It was more likely a muskrat but a beaver is what I’ll call it. Because having lived in Canada for more than 10 years never seeing a beaver just won’t do. So a beaver it was. 

We stood there for sometime in calm but mostly giddy excitement, because nature. There is a field directly across from my house and in the spring time they use some very natural fertilizer. It was a much stronger smell than I had hoped. But at the top of the hill we had left the smell behind and were all too happy to stand there in awe of the beauty before us. 

I turned away to ask, shall we continue on? I paused, and there. There was a rain drop on my lip. I looked up and well as you’d expect there was quite the dark cloud above us. I said, I bet you it’s just gonna come down and drench us. My mom could have cared less and just kept walking forward. Until she felt it to. And then in less than a second it was pouring. 

The most excited, startled, gleeful shout came bursting out of me before I could think to be quiet. It was just too funny, too amazing. We were being rained on and I couldn’t have been happier, couldn’t have been more at peace. I couldn’t even be mad once we hit the stink again, because having tried to out run the rain as if it were not everywhere, I was too full of joy.

So full of joy it was coming out in shouts and laughs unabridged by the need to stay hidden; stay quiet and unremarkable. Because by golly gee this life is more than hard but it was raining and somehow that made it all so much more okay.

I had a hard day. The hardest in awhile. But it rained on me the whole way home. That could have been the very last straw that sent me far far far off the edge I’d slowly been pushed to. But that rain, that holy rain, it broke this terrible feeling of doomed hopelessness that had been sitting on my chest all day. Broke the dome and glom and it rained on me the whole way home. I laughed the whole way home. 

It was much more than I had bargained for when I asked my mom, do you want to go for a walk? I got the better end of the deal. I said I’ll give you my obedience to choose to be healthy and try, just try. And God said I’ll raise you pure gleeful joy.