Hope Looked Like

The morning was grey, the world was still covered head to toe in rain water and the clouds had not yet lifted. But my brother stood happily, gleefully washing the farm truck. My same brother had made bread the day before and it was that I sat eating for breakfast. 

I was sad that morning. I felt somewhat alone and didn’t really want to be. But it didn’t last. Because I had bread. Because I turned on the string lights that hung over the window, simply because I could. And because I could see my brother out the window dancing to music that only he heard. 

I was sad and that was okay, but I choose hope. 

I would like to say it was easy alas like many things it was not. It took effort and will power. To say, ‘I’m sad, and that’s okay, but I’d like to feel something different. I’d like today to be better than that.’ 

It happened slowly and I suppose, to someone else, it may have looked like the fog drifting away. And the sun coming out to play. 

You see hope isn’t always this resilient thing. It has be given enough room to breath. To change, to evolve, to adapt, to fall. In some if not a lot of ways hope is a living thing that can feel unpredictable and unreliable. Here’s the thing though, if you can find the beauty of the surprise that is hope, it will take you far. Far beyond anywhere I’ve ever know. 

That morning there was no big awesome thing that felt good or hopeful. There was only the rain soaked ground and the mist in the air. That morning hope felt like that very mist. Tangible yet it wasn’t something you could capture, it simply was. 

Its been written that each day has it’s own grace and believing that I’d like to suppose something as well. That each day has it’s own hope and all you must be willing to do is look a little closer.