Dreaming Dreams

I have this feeling sitting in my chest. It’s warm and soft and feels kind of like a hug, but more like a kiss on the forehead. It’s whimsical, in a soft way, soft and fuzzy and warm. It’s the feeling I get when I dream of the day I have a home of my own. A home that is soft and warm and full of good tea and fresh bread and homemade treats. 

It is such a simple small dream, but it’s the one I have. People try to tell you that dreams have to be big monumental things, things that may take miracles to procure. I like to think that dreams can be many things. That there isn’t a right or wrong way to dream, you just do. 


The thing is though, I haven’t even been thinking of that dream, haven’t been dreaming in any conscious thought. But I think this feeling sitting in my chest is because I am living a dream. The one where I get to spend much time with my friend. Where we get to do life together, for at least a little while. The dream I wasn’t even aware I had. I’m getting to live the very thing I’ve wanted the most for the last two years. 


I’ve said many times before that I’m no good at writing about happy things. I’ve come to think that may be because of my vocabulary. I have more words to make up the feelings of anger and disgust than I do joy and comfort. I suppose it’s a new skill I can try to learn. 


It is a gift, to be able to go and chase your dreams. I am blessed to do so. And the day will never come where I am not grateful for the opportunity I have been given. 


My heart has found a peace I had never known. It is almost strange or odd, that I might be so at peace in a such a new environment. There are even wasps in this house and for some reason that is lost to me I could care less, its not bothering me. And if you’ve spent anytime with me in the summer or spring you know that I hate buzzing things that sting. 


It is one of these wonderfully mystifying times of my life. Where the grace and provision of God is so very evident. And truly it feels like a beautifully wrapped gift on Christmas morning. Sometimes I say things are a gift only because I am trying to convince myself of it, but today when I say it is a gift I well and truly mean it. 


Sometimes we think dreams are things that should stay in our sleep and are things that never really come to fruition. I think it is positively beautiful to dream a dream and chase after it with all that you have. People often say ‘if it’s meant to be it will be’ as a way of saying if I deserve my dream it will simply happen on its own. I think that’s silly, why not take that risk and see what happens. What is the worst that could truly happen? 

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