Thinking of Tomorrow

The longer I stay in this early twenties paradigm the less I care about great and glorious purpose. The longer I stay here in this strange land of not knowing how to get to where I wish to go the more I long for the simplistic things. The more all I want is to have enough time to paint and to exist and invite people over for coffee.

I really only want to continue and continue and continue and do little else. 

I’ve talked a lot about this, or maybe just thought a lot, but truly I desire for a peaceful life. And if I were to attain this I would have made it, would be satisfied. Because at the end of the day small joy is the same a big joy and the small things in life are enough for me. 

I used to be afraid of that. I though it made me shallow, that I would only desire for the quiet and the stillness. Now I find it is easy to want after all the glory and greatness and success one can possibly find. It is more rare to be satisfied with the time spent with family and friends and maybe the occasional donut. Really its the things that look small and seem to be taken for granted that I find most joy in. 

I’ve done a lot of thinking about what I would like to do with my life and I’ve been asked countless times, such is the life of twenty-one. And every time I am no closer to having a nice neat answer all tied up with a bow. I seem only to dream and if you ask me about what I will do it will be wistful and full of wonder and fog. As long as no questions are posed I am happy to continue in my dreaming wistful way, but people want to know and the answer more often than not is ‘I don’t know’. 

I think I would like to come back to the place of answering people with a simple ‘I am and will continue to be an artist.’ It’s a truthful and honest answer, so maybe that is what I shall do. I think beyond that it doesn’t really matter much. Because I don’t want to just talk about what I will do, I just want to live it. I don’t care be one to talk the talk, I only want to walk the walk. To continue and continue and continue.