One Hundred

One hundred. When your young 100 feels like an impossible number, like an unreachable height. It feels like an accomplishment you won’t reach till you’re 40. But it’s just a number and slowly as we all grow older than the year before 100 starts to mean getting older and slower and sicker. 


Today 100 marks the number of total blog posts I’ve made. And because I’ve lived the life I have and walked through the fire I have every milestone, every accomplishment big or small, feels like something I never thought I’d reach. Feels like a life I didn’t think I’d get to live. 


So to me celebration is important, it’s a need. And I will not cease to be thankful for the goodness I’ve found, the goodness I have been shown. 


As I’ve said before writing started out as a lifeline, a way to maintain or seek some sanity. In a way that hasn’t changed, in this time of change and mess it has remained my only source of stability and that in and of itself has been a lifeline. I’ve had a lot of destructive coping skills in the past and truthfully writing has been the one to stick and stay healthy. 


Mental health is such a wild ride and my writing process is so intertwined with my mental health that I have no hope of ever separating them. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because I started my blog because I wanted to share my art. But I continue my blog because I want people to see that it’s okay to not be okay and more than that, that it’s okay it be in process. That process is allowed to take a long time. 


I think the biggest thing I’ve learned through the last almost two years, is that communication is the beginning of health. Not just talking to others but communicating with yourself honestly; because you can’t get get anywhere if you don’t even know how you feel. Health for me began when I got honest with myself with where I was at. I wasn’t able to move on or change at all until I understood what my starting point looked like.


I can’t even begin to explain just how much I’ve changed and how much I have grown since I started this blog. All I really know is that I’ve come a long way and I have no intention of ever going back. It has taken a great deal of self motivation and self governance to keep going with this but it has been so rewarding for my own process. 


I hope that I can continue to impact and help others see the value in embracing the process and being faithful to continue on. Here is to 100 more! 

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