Starting & Persisting -The Creative Process pt. 8

My creative process and my journey with and into health are closely tied. One is always impacted by the other. And for as long as I can remember I’ve been given the same advice no matter the type of health I’m talking about, mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical. Just do it even when you don’t feel like it. Go on the run, eat the healthy food, keep working hard, keep persisting, paint anyway. It’s this insistent advice to keep going even when it all seems so pointless. When I was depressed this advise felt like the most insensitive thing that could have been said to me, but as I’ve gotten healthier and older it’s started to make sense. 


There is some truth to be found in the doing it even when you don’t want to. But the key here is to first ask why. Why, because knowing why your motivation has failed helps to find it again. Sometimes it’s just because I’m feeling lazy and lacking energy, and sometimes there’s a deeper often more painful reason I don’t feel like painting. This week was a combination of waning energy and perfectionism fuelled procrastination. 


Part of the problem was just needing to get back into a rhythm after being away, and part of it is a continual process of not comparing my art to others. 


So on Wednesday I got into my studio and went to work. I started small and worked on the finishing details of a painting rather then starting a new one altogether. Coming back to art after talking a longer break can be difficult. It can be like riding a bike, but it takes a bit of time to find the balance. I had been waiting for it to feel like the right time, or to feel like I wanted to paint, and the moment never came. Thats the part of self discipline that isn’t fun, it isn’t about how you feel. It’s about knowing what needs to be done and what is good for you and doing it before you feel like it. As a feeler I hate this part, but it’s necessary. I would quite literally get next to nothing done if I waited for when I felt like it, or wanted to do it. 


I’m the type of person where starting anything is the hardest part. Because I’ve already figured out what the end is going to look like and even know most of how to get there, but I struggle to know where to start. I’ve found that often I have to just get going and I find out how I’m starting as I’m starting. I can find it irritating, because I just wanna know the plan, but I know I just have to start. When people are talking about tough love, this is what it looks like, not harsh criticism. People often forget the love and run with the tough. 


I’ve learned how to finish things, when just to let things rest, but I’ve always struggled with the starting. And when creativity gets hard again starting is the first thing to get difficult. Because starting is more than just doing the work, it take motivation and persistence. Starting is the part where my heart gets overly involved, or fails to show up altogether. Foundations are important, and how you start a new art pieces is no exception. 

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