An Artists Identity

When you search for the creative process on the internet some of the first things you will find are step by step lists of what the creative process is and how it works. The most easily accessible information about the creative process is explained through a linear thought process and lack of any emotional depth. One of the next things you will find is this sort-of joke that artists make. 

Step one, this is amazing

Step two, this is difficult

Step three, this is terrible

Step four, I am terrible 

Step five, this might be fine

Step six, this is amazing 

It all starts with an idea and often one that we feel emotionally attached to. Then we start and somewhere in the beginning it become difficult. Than if we can’t figure it out fast the small difficulty means the whole thing was a terrible idea or impossible to begin with. Then after we’ve deemed it terrible or impossible we come to the conclusion that we as the idea maker are terrible. But if we stick with it we come around to the idea that it might be okay. Then finally we take a dramatic leap into this is the most amazing thing I’ve ever created. 

This is an honest reality of the creative process. It is not an absolute, it doesn’t always happen like this, but it doesn’t not happen like this some of the time. I went though all six stages when I started writing this blog post. But what I wanted to talk about was step four specially. 

Artists tend to find much of their identity in the art they create. For better or for worse that is true. Because it’s something that people talk about but don’t truly acknowledge it’s become something of an epidemic. Because it is fine and often beautiful art that we find ourselves and therefore our identity in, until someone comes along with a different opinion. You will be feeling wonderful and secure in your identity until someone doesn’t particular agree or like your art. 

It can be soul crushing because you’ve put all your stock, worth, and identity into the things you make with your hands and then someone doesn’t like or care about what they see or hear. We artists are just as guilty of doing the judging, it is part of the fallen nature of humanity. But it is not the viewers fault, and that is something so few of us are willing to admit. Some artists have really thick skin, and it is seen as a given, that if you are to make your art your life's work than you will have to toughen up. 

I can tell you right now I don’t really have thick skin. I am a soft heated and sensitive soul. And made I promise to myself, that I would not let this life turn me into a bitter or hardened person. So I make it a point to remain tender and kind. But where does that leave me as an artist. I have also made it a point to not find my identity in my art. Or at least the vast majority of it. Don’t get me wrong, my art is a reflection of my identity and my heart, but I don’t assign my worth to my ability to create. There in lies the difference. Now I’m not perfect, I am still very much working hard to do so. 

I am making it a point to eradicate step four from my own creative process. Because not once has that step ever served to better my life or my art. And when a thought or belief ceases to server or better you it is time to kick it to the curve.