a week to rest

This week was my birthday, I turned 22. I get quite emotional on my birthday, and there are quite a few other emotional things going on both this week and in general. So this week has become one of rest weather I liked it or not. That’s part of the creative process, like life, you have to rest. 


Most times my struggle is not having enough of an outlet for my creativity. So I can get quite antsy when I have to rest. Because I get worried that in my rest somehow it will break my creativity. I honestly get the worry from an honest place. I had taken a very long break from painting and it took so much work to come back from that. So sometimes I get worried. And truly I need to chill out a little and just be okay with the rest, but it’s not that simple for me. 


This week has been one to rest and it has pushed all my buttons. Oh you need to get work, you need to be productive, you need to constantly be on the move. My constant internal dialogue, and the reply comes as, I’m tired. The productivity it speaks of is simply being in motion, but rest is productive. We’ve been sold a great lie that we’ll sleep when we’re dead, what a loud of crap. I’m trying to live my life from a heart position of rest, but sometimes it’s not enough and I have to take a time out. It okay, sit down, have some tea, just be.  


Emotions and art almost always walk hand in hand, and often I use my art to work through my emotions. But you can’t constantly be working through emotions, especially if you don’t slow down enough to feel the emotions. You can’t just stay in you feels, as mom would say you can’t unpack and live there. But you also can’t just muscle through the feelings either, there has to be a balance. 


So rest was the name of the week. So what came to the surface could be felt, and what settled in my soul could settle. Rest has yet to become a comfortable thing, and I’ll give it to you it sounds like an oxymoron, but its okay because it’s progress. 


It’s okay, life isn’t passing you by, is okay to sit down, it’s okay to rest. So rest. 

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