Getting Out of My Way

Procrastination: delaying, postponing, or putting off, yup I am a master at this. That right there could be the whole blog post, I’m a master of procrastination and I wish I wasn’t. And I could say that it’s because I care, but really its that I care too much. 


I have had 8 paintings done for about 4 weeks now and I am happy as can be with the outcome, but none of them are signed. Not a one of them. There is a small portion that honestly cares and doesn’t want the placement of the signature it take away from the painting as a whole, but its small. Because the real reason I haven’t signed any of the 8 paintings is because then its real, and then I have to make good on my decision to sell them. 


I have been painting since before I could spell my name, this series will mark the first paintings I ever set out to sell. As I write this on December 8th 2022, I have yet to sell a painting, and all because I’m too scared to sign my name to my work. 


Some days I wish I had set out to be an anonymous painter like the likes of Banksy, because of the simple enormous fear of the being known. But I didn’t start this journey, didn’t choose this path be something I’m not. I chose this because I value honesty and beauty and artistry. And who I am is a human like any other, who wants nothing more than to be wholly and fully committed to my dream. 


So today, December 8th, will be the day that I get out of my own way. I will give myself the opportunity to fail. So rise or fall I’m gonna sign my paintings today because you can’t fail if you never try, but you also cannot ever win if you don’t try. It is terrifying and exhilarating and even a little freeing. 


So yes, my heart may have started to beat a little faster and my hands are sweating, but I’m gonna take this giant leap onward, and hope I catch a draft that leads me upward. 




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