Where My Art Meets My Christmas

Last week I talked about getting out of my own way. I was procrastinating on top of procrastinating, avoiding what I was avoiding. But I finally signed my paintings. I posted last weeks post and got up and signed them. I had to hold myself accountable to something. 


But now its the Christmas season. Like really Christmas is soon upon us and with that comes a whole slew of emotions. There are some parts that are so drenched in nostalgia they squeeze your chest till tears come leaking out. And there are the parts that look stranger the older you get, the light seems to change in the way that it bends. 


I find as I get closer and closer to the holidays descending upon me the less I want to paint. It’s not like before, when the whole love of it went out the window. Its just that I would rather spend my time with my family, laughing and yelling and carrying on. My family we like to be in each others space, just like to be in the same room together. And there’s almost always laughter involved. 


But I know that Christmas doesn’t always feel warm and fluffy to everyone. The cynics think its all a marketing tactic, and companies do take advantage of it but I think there’s more to it. The broken hearted only see all that they do not have, like love and security, and I can’t fault them for seeing there own lack, but there is always something to be thankful for. Like the breath in your lungs. I’ve looked through the lenses of the cynics, and only saw all that was wrong. I’ve walked more than a mile in the shoes of the broken hearted, and seen all that I had lost. 


But if I could capture the smell of the visiting tree and force it into a visible sight I would. And if I could find the shade of tranquil joy I’d probably swim in it before painting with it. Alas I am but a human being and closest I can get is thinking that warm buttery yellow is the right colour for joy. And that the sent of a Christmas tree smells an awful lot like a warm hug feels and I just don’t know how to paint it. 


I paint to communicate, with myself, the world, everyone, and everything. And my family knows all these things already and at the end of the day that’s what its about for me. Christmas is magical and beautiful and heart pulling because it bring my family home. And then we get to be in each others space again, and I can not think of a greater gift. 

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