Ever Changing Beast

Last week already feels like a life time ago. The deeper I delve into my creative process the less time seems to matter, or more so the less time seems to stay linear. Next week will be Time and Light Switches 3rd birthday or anniversary, and I can’t quite believe its only been three years and I can’t quite believe that I’ve kept this up for three whole years. So come back next week for a bonus something on Friday. 


I didn’t start my creative process writing, in fact if you had told 15 year old me that I would write a blog and keep it up for three years I would have laughed in your face, but we all change. I started out painting. It’s the form of creative outlet that I always retreat to in moments of difficulty. And the first love I will never get over. But all my lifetimes worth of painting knowledge doesn’t always translate to my writing process. Showing a story in one picture and having to convey the entire thing from start to finish in one go it a skill I’ve gotten good at. To then attempt to write a book, where the story can span pages and pages and thousands of words is wild. It’s going from one extreme to the other. 


The longer I get to know myself the more I realize that I swing between extremes, for the most part its harmless but often its a great challenge. If all I did was paint I would get bored, and if I only wrote I would go out of my mind. But doing them both requires a balance that surpasses understanding. 


So I’ve been working on this story, where I’ve gone in with no plan other than to not plan, and so far so good. But I’ve quickly realized I like to edit while I write. I will constantly go read the paragraphs that I’ve written and fix them and then continue writing. Which for short blog posts its works, but for novel writing it’s almost impossible. But this has been my way doing the writing for three years and now I both get to and have to change the way I write. 


I allow myself to fix spelling and grammar mistakes as I write the first draft of this story but no real revising. And either there’s something very wrong or very right with me because I almost enjoy the challenge and the constant push and pull. 


The creative process is an ever changing beast that requires you to move or be run over. I used to paint with wild abandon late into the night, now I wake with stories and language in-between my teeth. Even a year ago I raged agains the changing of my process and now I welcome it in with open arms as I would a stray kitten. (I love cats.) 


It is truly mystifying to see the difference practice makes, what consistency does. In the beginning it could take me up to three hours to write the 300 word blog post, now I can compile most of my thoughts into a mostly followable oder in an hour. This week I recognize I’m a bit rambly, but its all somewhat contained to a few stand out thoughts; next week is a mile stone, I miss my painting, and writing is a fun challenge. 


I suppose this week all I wanted to do was share that I am excited and amazed and so so thankful that I get to pursue art full time and make it my life. And I am doubly thankful that you all want to come on the creative process with me! Thanks for sticking around. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

september 1st

September 1st, its the beginning of things. It’s the beginning of the end of the year. At least in my head September has always felt like the beginning of the end. I’m happy to know that the sweltering heat is nearly past and its almost sweater time. I like the fall, mostly because it feels like the rest before the rest, it feels like the closest to what my heart looks like, but partly I like the fall because I like the word falling.   This week I did what I could, which doesn’t look like much but I ate well and washed my face often and I tried.  I got back into the studio yesterday and was immediately overwhelmed. To start with my work space was a mess, as it has been for months, and finally yesterday was the day I couldn’t take it anymore and tidied up the table that serves as my workstation. It was probably 20 minutes of finding homes for things and trying to remember how I had had it organized in the first place. But it was 20 minutes well spent, because at end not eve...
Read more

Learning

Over the years I’ve learned many things about myself and how I function. For example: if I need to force myself to wash my face I put on make up, because I figured out that the need to not sleep in my make up supersedes my laziness. I’ve discover lots of what I call hacks in my own functioning. As I’ve written about before I grew up struggling with depression, so one of my biggest challenges, even when I don’t feel depressed, is to get motivated. So I’ve found some of my own personal quirks that I can almost trick myself into doing the healthy things instead of relying completely on motivation. This is also true when it comes to my art.   I’ve learned that I can’t sit in my studio for hours on end, the most productive and best work is done in the first and second hour. Anything more and I start to get too into my head. I also need to have somewhat of a plan before I even walk down the stairs. Otherwise I get overwhelmed just looking at all that I could do, or I start random proje...
Read more

Almost There

Nowadays it is the norm to go to collage or university even when you don’t know what you want to do. It’s preached go to school and figure it out while you’re there. It’s taught that your job is your life and it is all you really ought to try to achieve. Even as young as 14 this didn't sit right with me, I always dodged the questions. What do you want to be, what school do you want to go to, what would you like to do with your life. Because I learned from a young age that artist wasn’t the answer that they were looking for.   I learned to fly under the radar because I knew my dream would be easily crushed, but I am stubborn. So I did my best in school and then I made my great escape. Now almost five years later I am about 3 steps away from achieving what I set out to do.  I have about three things felt to do and then I will not just be an artist who makes things frequently, I will be one who sells these things too. I have an 8 painting series ready to be sold, and that is...
Read more