been thinking

So the small update in the way of book writing, is that I’m still editing and it's not all the exciting to talk about. Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying myself, just doesn’t make for great content. 

So here are some of my recent thoughts about life.


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I’ve been thinking a lot about how a quantity of time spent with someone will never make up for the quality. I spent six months with people who remain more dear to me, than people I spent two years with. 


Been thinking about how the thought of moving has lost its sting but not its ache. 


Been thinking about where I am in the world, where I am in life, and how maybe it’s right and maybe it’s wrong. How I can’t quite tell. 


Been thinking that perhaps I’d like a quiet life, but then maybe I’d like a loud one. How I can’t quite decide what exactly I want. 


I’ve been feeling a lot of stillness, in a way I don’t really like as much as I should. That feeling the peace in the storm sometimes feels good and sometimes feels crazy. 


Been feeling a little muted, not numb or unhappy with life, just a little bit blue. All the while being so happy and so excited about my progress. 


Been feeling the changing of the seasons, and not just in the way that autumn is upon me and too soon winter will find me. The way that life never stops spinning and the transitions from one season to the next is a season itself. 


Been feeling pain, in my body, small grande irritations that get in the way of everyday life. I’m not sick, and I’m not injured, thankfully I am as healthy as can be, and still the small pains feel a bit to big to be honest. 


~


It’s not all so grim. It’s not all so bad. There are days, and there are weeks, where gravity is just a little heavier than it ought to be. And in those days I can’t help but experience it. So its not all as bad as it looks, just need a little softer hand, a gentler heart, for myself. 

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