creative process in real time

 I have encountered a new peculiarity, I can’t read. To be specific and a little less dramatic I am in a reading slump and can’t seem to enjoy a book right now. Any book. Okay for more background I am a reader, I love to read and have since I was 12. So to find myself unable to love any book is a struggle. 


Let me explain. I started working on my second draft of what will be my first novel, been hard at work on it for a few more than a few weeks. Since I finished my read through of the first draft I’ve had a difficult time getting into a book. I’m no stranger to a reading slump, but this one feels different because from what I can tell its writing induced. 


I’m constantly surprised by just how much my creative process impacts my life outside of just the art parts. I never would have guessed that my writing could get in the way of my reading, and now having seen that is words I realize how silly it is. Still I didn’t see it coming. 


So don’t mind me, I’ll be over here trying to find a new activity to fill my down time with. (To be clear I’m not giving up on reading, I love it, just gonna take a little break while my brain reboots or something.)


In other news and updates, I’ve begun writing snippets of poetry in my journal. Oh you thought writing a weekly blog and writing a book was enough writing for me? Nope, I’m ridiculous, there are about an extra 3,000 words that get written every week that will never been seen by the light of day, or another human. Never’s a strong word but its highly unlikely that I’ll purposely share the words and thoughts that get written in my journal. 


Also I’ve come full circle back to the desire to play with geometric and organic shapes in some fine art. In an abstract kind of way. I used to do a fair amount of abstract art-ing but somewhere along the way I stopped. Probably comes down me letting a thought or comment take up residence in my head that had no business being there. 


This post is all over the place in terms of topics and thoughts, and for that I apologize. If you lived in my house you would hear the four of us constantly saying ‘its everything all the time all at once,’ meaning the punches just keep coming. I have my days and sometimes my weeks, but I’ve managed to do a chapter a day of editing so there is hope yet to retain some sense of productivity. 


This is my creative process in real time. There’s no polishing or hiding the chaos, I share all the parts that make up my creative process. Including when they conflict with each other and when they make more messes than they fix. Because I won’t lie and say full time art doesn’t have it’s drawbacks but I wouldn’t choose any other battle to fight for my life time. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

september 1st

September 1st, its the beginning of things. It’s the beginning of the end of the year. At least in my head September has always felt like the beginning of the end. I’m happy to know that the sweltering heat is nearly past and its almost sweater time. I like the fall, mostly because it feels like the rest before the rest, it feels like the closest to what my heart looks like, but partly I like the fall because I like the word falling.   This week I did what I could, which doesn’t look like much but I ate well and washed my face often and I tried.  I got back into the studio yesterday and was immediately overwhelmed. To start with my work space was a mess, as it has been for months, and finally yesterday was the day I couldn’t take it anymore and tidied up the table that serves as my workstation. It was probably 20 minutes of finding homes for things and trying to remember how I had had it organized in the first place. But it was 20 minutes well spent, because at end not eve...
Read more

Learning

Over the years I’ve learned many things about myself and how I function. For example: if I need to force myself to wash my face I put on make up, because I figured out that the need to not sleep in my make up supersedes my laziness. I’ve discover lots of what I call hacks in my own functioning. As I’ve written about before I grew up struggling with depression, so one of my biggest challenges, even when I don’t feel depressed, is to get motivated. So I’ve found some of my own personal quirks that I can almost trick myself into doing the healthy things instead of relying completely on motivation. This is also true when it comes to my art.   I’ve learned that I can’t sit in my studio for hours on end, the most productive and best work is done in the first and second hour. Anything more and I start to get too into my head. I also need to have somewhat of a plan before I even walk down the stairs. Otherwise I get overwhelmed just looking at all that I could do, or I start random proje...
Read more

Almost There

Nowadays it is the norm to go to collage or university even when you don’t know what you want to do. It’s preached go to school and figure it out while you’re there. It’s taught that your job is your life and it is all you really ought to try to achieve. Even as young as 14 this didn't sit right with me, I always dodged the questions. What do you want to be, what school do you want to go to, what would you like to do with your life. Because I learned from a young age that artist wasn’t the answer that they were looking for.   I learned to fly under the radar because I knew my dream would be easily crushed, but I am stubborn. So I did my best in school and then I made my great escape. Now almost five years later I am about 3 steps away from achieving what I set out to do.  I have about three things felt to do and then I will not just be an artist who makes things frequently, I will be one who sells these things too. I have an 8 painting series ready to be sold, and that is...
Read more