life’s ramblings and eccentricities

 Well here I am with books unpacked, but not all of them just a fraction. I never want more to do something then when something else stops me from being able to. I’ve wanted to paint for over a month because all my things were packed. I’ve wanted to truly write for weeks, but I’ve no desk. And its all just excuses because I’ve no idea what will come out of myself once I give it space. 


And isn’t that the crux of being an artist, one who creates, being unable to separate creating from your own humanness, and don’t we hate it till we don’t. Hate the evidence of our own human experience when really thats the point of the whole thing. The most startling, beautiful, and profound art always has traces of their creator. 


It all gets better with time, if you’re willing to till the soil. Rotting away doesn’t solve much, but similarly patience is key. It’s all about the tension points, and being willing to find the balance in-between them. 


Now that I can see my books again I want to read them. I’m nowhere near close to being done unpacking, and isn’t that the story of my life. Moving isn’t as quick or as simply as I’d like, or as the movies make it look. 


I was sure I’d miss the quiet uneventful life once I’d left it, and man was I right. I knew I’d miss the still afternoons full of nothing but writing time, and mornings spent in contemplation. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Yet I also knew I need to move on with the rest of my life. That I would be better for it, and subsequently so would those in my life whom I love. Because when you’re healthy, its ten times easier to love people. Sure the distance can make things tricky but isn’t it that much more a testament of love that you’d put in the work. 


My life is a collection, a mosaic of sorts, full of shifting thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It makes for an interesting headspace and therefor blog posts. Because if Time and Light Switches is nothing else at least its an online digital reference point of my existence and life. Which is to say, thanks for staying around for the transitional place in my life, where I’m all over the place and up and down in the same sentences. The remaining constant of this blog makes a world of difference in a world of new and terrifying experiences. 


Hopefully a desk will be found soon and I can continue work of my book, until then life’s ramblings and eccentricities will have to do. See you next week. 

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