funny how

 The first thousand words are quicker than the second thousand. Go figure, I’ve no idea why it goes like that but it does. When I’m writing and trying to hit 2,000 words a day, the first half goes so much slower than the second. Maybe it’s just a matter of flow and rhythm, but even when I start off on a good foot it feels like the first half takes me double the time. 


If you didn’t know, or you’re new here, I am working on my second novel at the moment and trying my darnedest to get as much written before the news year as possible. I am self ‘employed’ and disciplined, which means I keep the strangest of hours. From waking to 2:00 in the afternoon I’m likely to be puttering about aimlessly, or taking care of my cousin. But there are days I don’t stop writing till midnight. I always knew I’d likely end up in this way, just wasn’t aware of how much I’d love it. 


Knew I’d be some sort of artist type who kept owlish hours. Funny to see how much life it’s brought to me. I truly am my most favourite self when I am working on a first draft. It’s the oddest thing. Never would have guessed that detail particularly but I am. Something about the work costing me something real, something great on some days. I felt the same way while writing my first, and it struck me in much the same way, oddly and grinning. 


I get so much joy from crafting my worlds and wonders, characters and creations. It’s something more tangible than the painting ever was, which feels a lot like grief on the best of days. Something interesting I’ve noticed as well is the more I enjoy myself, the less I care whether someone else will find worth in my work. It’s as if I find value in my work, then it doesn’t much matter if someone else does or doesn’t. As if my value of my creation is the only one that matters at all, the only one with sway. Some truth about the way Gods holds value in this understanding.  


Originally when I first started work on this book I found it a challenge to switch between my two point of view. The flow constantly felt interrupted. Now, a few months deep in the draft, I find I only need a moment to switch from one characters voice to the other. Funny how practice begets progress, funny how that continues to ring true. 


The first half remains the most difficult however. The first thousand words, and the first half of the story. Even with one book written and one making incredible progress, I still find getting started to be my kryptonite. Funny that something I learned about myself before I was even double digits remains true and a challenge. 


Having some semblance of a goal has pushed me to work harder and become more determined. It’s not just having a goal that’s done it for me though, it’s the why. The why seems to have made all the difference. I’m trying to get as much done as I can before my brothers comes to visit so I can spend every second with them without feeling guilty and like I should be writing instead. I’ll likely still putter away at it in spare moments, because I really cant’t help myself sometimes especially when I’m on a roll, but I intend to spend as much time with my family as I possible can. 


It is a joy and a blessing to get to do what I love every day, something I’ll not cease my thankfulness for. So with that I’ll get back to it and tell you some more about it next week. 

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