Time and Light Switches

  It’s been a long time coming. This reunion I’m having, it’s been a long time coming. Ten years in fact, not to the t or anything and really it’s been longer. But at any rate I won’t be waiting that long again, not for a lot of things.   It’s funny the things you notice, the things you remember after a long time. Because it wasn’t her face or her walk that made me realize that she was in-fact still my friend from long ago. It was her hands. The way she moved them and their shape, something about them was so familiar. I didn’t know I had remembered her hands beyond all else, but I did. And it was the thing that nearly brought me to tears.  Because even after ten years she still talked with her hands the same way, still held them and placed them and moved them as if we were still kids. Still small young kids with no idea of the vastness of this world. And I’d love to be able to poetically say that I crossed an ocean to see her again, but I did fly all the way to her and I hate flyin

Homesick. It’s a feeling I haven’t had to think about, hadn’t felt, it two years. Like a lot of people I’ve been cooped up the last few years because of the state of the world. But recently I said no more and when to visit some people who are very dear to me. I had had enough and just went for it. It has been incredibly rewarding, and way harder than I though it would be.   First I got the flu, and if you’ve ever been sick away from where you call home you know that that is particular type of homesick. A kind of sad. A longing for safety and comfort. But in that time I learned to let someone take care of me, I had to let go of the belief that I was burden. Had to accept that it was okay to let someone take care of me.  Then just simply being in a new environment was difficult. I hadn’t really had to deal with new things in that way in a while. It was quite the shock to the system. I learned to embrace the awkward, as my mom would say, and just be okay with not being comfortable. A

the trees they are dancing and the ocean  it is waving the clouds they are being and the  ground  it is shaking the cliffs they are sinking and the sky  it is aging the flowers they are  singing and the  galaxy  it is changing the animals  they are thinking and the  wind is is moving the people  they are feeling

I have this feeling sitting in my chest. It’s warm and soft and feels kind of like a hug, but more like a kiss on the forehead. It’s whimsical, in a soft way, soft and fuzzy and warm. It’s the feeling I get when I dream of the day I have a home of my own. A home that is soft and warm and full of good tea and fresh bread and homemade treats.   It is such a simple small dream, but it’s the one I have. People try to tell you that dreams have to be big monumental things, things that may take miracles to procure. I like to think that dreams can be many things. That there isn’t a right or wrong way to dream, you just do.  The thing is though, I haven’t even been thinking of that dream, haven’t been dreaming in any conscious thought. But I think this feeling sitting in my chest is because I am living a dream. The one where I get to spend much time with my friend. Where we get to do life together, for at least a little while. The dream I wasn’t even aware I had. I’m getting to live the very